It's a New Year

Usually this means a fresh start for some.

As for me, I guess it just means trying to better myself. Having resolutions or goals (as most people do) and trying to accomplish them.With that being said, I was told that I should start this. That it would be my release, a kind of therapy. After a phone call very early in the morning, I guess I finally gave in and figured why not. It wouldn't kill me, would it? Instead of bothering other people, why not bang on the keyboard for a bit. If it doesn't help, at least I'll brush up on my typing skills.

Well, my New Year wasn't all that exciting. I wasn't in all that great of a mood and decided that it was best I be around only xxxxx and xxxx. Needless to say there was no alcohol involved. I'm just not interested in drinking anymore. It's not the fact that I can consume way too much and get ridiculously sick the next day; it's how alcohol changes people and how it can sometimes control people without them even knowing it. I'm not saying that I will never drink again because I would like to have a glass of wine with dinner once in a while or when I'm enjoying a good book. I just don't care for it anymore.

I'm hoping this year will be brighter for me. It didn't really go off on a good start. I "rung" in the New Year with a lot on my mind and just a constant sinking feeling. Everywhere I turned, everything I looked at, everything I heard just reminded me of ONE thing. I feel as if I am peddling water to keep myself from drowning and still am. The constant constriction in my chest doesn't help either. I hope this feeling passes soon. Real soon. Hopefully the skies will clear and there are much brighter days for me. Keep your fingers crossed....

xoxo